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Okay. So I'm Lauren Goldstein, and this is

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my literacy narrative. My earliest memory

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of organized religion was when I was

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about eight or nine. And my dad is Jewish,

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and my mom converted before I was born,

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but doesn't practice. She was Catholic,

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and she remarried a guy who doesn't like

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people of pretty much any other race or

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religion, so he used to tell me I wasn't

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Jewish and tried to change my name, even

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though my last name is Goldstein, which

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is quite obviously Jewish. So he would

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make me go to church. I was really young,

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I went to church, and I would ask that-- I

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asked the minister one time where I was

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listening to the minister preach, and he

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said, "God has always been,"

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and I thought, "Huh!"--even at ten years old--

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"Well, everything has a beginning or an

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end, when we tell stories or when we

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watch TV or commercials or, you know, my

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grandmother tells me a story there's

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always a beginning." And so I remember

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sitting on the steps of my grandmother's--

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or, of my parents' duplex in Philadelphia,

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and I sat on the cement steps and I kind

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of stared at the cars passing by

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and I thought,  "Well, darkness right?"

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Darkness would be nothing, but darkness

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is something--at least the word... at least

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the word means something not to get into

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Saussure or Derrida or something like that.

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So at 10 I thought, "Okay, okay, well

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darkness is something," and I tried to

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think about it for a couple of minutes

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and it was like a--I would call

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it a brain twinge. My head--I just kind

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of hit a hit a blank wall, and every time

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I tried to think about what was before

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God or before creation, my brain, it felt

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like it just kind of stalled out. So even

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at 10 I knew there was something really

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interesting about that. Some years later

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when I was in high school, and I still--

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she was still married to her second

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husband, I still didn't self-identify

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as Jewish, because he used to tell me

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that I wasn't Jewish,

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even though I clearly was. I went to

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youth group and I asked my youth group

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leaders, you know, why is it that when we

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try to think about what was before

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creation that we run into this brick

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wall? Why do our mind stop when we try

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to comprehend something that big? And

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they told me, "Well, that's because God

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doesn't want us to know."  And maybe this

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is part of the reason I'm a professor

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now, but I thought, "That is the

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worst answer to a question I've

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ever heard." They also told me, those two

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particular youth group leaders told me

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because one side of my grandparents was

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Catholic and the other set of

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grandparents was Jewish, that technically

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both of them were going to go to hell.

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Which I--at which point I stopped going

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to youth group, because those same people

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said that God doesn't judge, we don't

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know who's going to heaven or hell,

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and at this point in my life I'm not

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even sure what I believe about those two

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places. So I realize that this literacy of

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organized religion is really complicated

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and convoluted. But I decided

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when I was in--that I had nothing to do

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with organized religion, but when

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I got to college I had a really, really

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wonderful professor named Karen Levine.

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And Karen was the first example of a

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Jewish woman that I knew that--

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it was really central to her life, and

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she went to Temple, and she knew lots of

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people in the community, and she was

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really a treasure of both the

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university community and of the

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religious community and of the of the

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City of Omaha--she knew so many people so

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many people. This was an Omaha, Nebraska.

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And I thought, I want to be like Karen

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Levine, and I knew that our commonality--

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our common interest was that we

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were both Jewish women. And she ended

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up being my mentor. She introduced me to

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people in the Jewish community in Omaha.

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And she was very sick. She had breast

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cancer that she had been fighting for 16

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years, and she would teach on Tuesday/

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Thursday, take cancer treatments on

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Fridays, recover on the weekend, and come

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back and teach again. But you wouldn't

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know. She never talked about being very

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sick. But she introduced me to many

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people in the Jewish community, and I

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wanted to be like her. She was the first

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person who made me realize that

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there is this part of literacy within

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organized religion that is welcoming and

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fruitful and not preachy or

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hypocritical.

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And so she really taught me a lot about

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that and she helped me through college.

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She was somebody who gave me breaks when

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when I probably should not have had them,

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and she's the reason I wanted to teach.

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She's the reason I'm a professor now, and

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she's the reason I practice Judaism now,

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and that I fully embrace being Goldstein.

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And she unfortunately passed away about

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about five years ago, my first year of my

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MFA program, and to this day when I--

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you know, I've had many people I've

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lost in my life, but losing Karen still just

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hurts. Still just brings me to tears. And

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I miss her so, so much. And she taught

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me a lot about about literacy, about this

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community, about literacy as a community

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and that idea. And I think

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about her living

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through me as I teach. What's interesting

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now is, as far as literacy goes, I think

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of new media and digital literacy as

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somewhat close to a very religious

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experience. If you've ever created

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something... We created. We were the

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beginning of this movie project,

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you know, or this audio project. And we

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ended it. And we edited it. And we gave it

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to other people. As I move through my

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PhD program, I

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get more and more into new media, and

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I really see things like new media, the

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creation of new media--and even I'm--I

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practice yoga, even yoga I see as a very

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spiritual experience. And some people I'm

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sure would argue, but I would

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say that new media and digital

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literacy is very close to this kind of

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creation and destruction and Old

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Testament notion of these types of

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literacy communities. And so there's many,

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many more. I could talk about it all

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day because I've had so many influences.

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But in--Oh! In the same way that

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I think about that brain twinge,

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about wondering what came before nothing,

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in Egypt this year during the riots, the

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country shut down the internet, and the

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same part of my brain that twinges when

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I try to think of what was before

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nothing

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tends to have a little doomsday in it too,

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so I think, well if Egypt could shut down

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the internet, what happens if--what

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happens at the end of the internet, if

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that was even possible, what happens to

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these syllabi and courses that we hinge

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completely on multimedia and

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multi-modality. So I also incorporate--I

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think it's very important to--I think

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it's very important to realize that

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we're teaching community writing as

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communication and literacy as something

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that also goes beyond goes beyond

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new media or is in conjunction with new

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media,

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because imagine if the internet

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ended, how many how much how many hours

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of course building we would lose.

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We'd have to go back to teaching with pens

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and paper. So there's that kind of

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duality, and that's about it

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for this, what I can say about

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literate literacy without going into 20

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different things? But I really, really

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enjoyed this opportunity, and I look

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forward to seeing others' literacy

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narratives as well.  Thank you.