Christine Tulley: Contradictory Identities/Rethinking Assumptions
On the surface, “Writing about Boys”and “Music Story” similarly construct literacy practices. Both richly layer alphabetic and historical (as well as visual and digital) literacy practices to construct the current literacy event. For example, Rohan remembers the look of her first diary and Panter remembers recording DJs on the radio and various songs to arrange early mix tapes with her sister.
Selfe and The DALN Consortium (2012), building on the work of Zuss (1997), suggest that, beyond constructing a literacy event, such literacy narratives can foster a “personal and transformative becoming that acknowledges not only multiple identities but also different and multiple relationships toward a range of people. . . .” (p. 11). “Writing about Boys” and "Music Story" illustrate this “becoming” through a personal depiction of an adolescent romantic relationship, making them useful catalysis for discussion of heterosexual relationships (and related subtopics such as sexual politics, puberty, and cultural assumptions, etc.) within a gender studies course. Panter learns to “read/appreciate” music through the mix tapes and CDs made for her by various boyfriends, including one she refers to as “the educator.” Rohan describes a boyfriend who teaches her how to keep a diary leading to her current career as a writer. Initially, gender studies students don’t generally find these events particularly feminist as the female narrators admit to mimicking their boyfriends’ composing practices to participate in the relationship.
Upon a first listen to “Music Story,” students are quick to point out several non-feminist features of her story. The boy referred to as “the educator“ tells her he does not like Modest Mouse (a favorite of hers) and she refers to him as a “heartbreaker.” She also “suffers through” a Counting Crows song for a boyfriend rather than admit she doesn’t like a song he chose to represent her. In her recorded narrative, the various songs Panter includes that serve as a background track for her narrative are all sung by male singers. These frantic loud bursts of energy often drown out her calm and quiet narration. In a first response to these narratives, more than one student inevitably points out that the mix tape is “less feminist” than the diary because someone, typically a male someone, compiles it to “tell you” the status of your relationship from his point of view and through the lens of third parties (the singers).
After repeated listens, however, students speculate that Panter may deliberately construct herself in such a calm, reasonable persona to counteract the idea of females as the emotionally unstable partners in heterosexual relationships. Her calm, reasonable voice serves as a foil to the overemotional male voices screaming in the background songs, and in many segments her voice is nearly overpowered by the loud music. Many students note in later responses that they must strain to hear her voice against this musical backdrop, choosing to place more emphasis on what she is saying than on the lyrics of the songs. Some wonder if the boyfriends use mix tapes to get her attention (when she might not otherwise be interested) and attempt to encourage her to experience a similar level of emotion to shift the balance of power in the relationship.
"Silence and Noise" Audio File
(transcript)
In this clip, which sparked much class discussion over power relationships and, in particular, debates about whose voice is most dominant in this relationship, Panter first muffles her voice with loud rock music, then fades out the music so her voice is clear and loud, and finally fades out her own words.
"Creation" Audio File
(transcript)
Students begin to notice Panter’s active engagement with mix tapes, noting before she was interested in boys she made her own mix tapes with her sister, and enjoyed the process of arranging them. Some students eventually suggest that the audio narrative itself is a mix tape of sorts with songs Panter has chosen and arranged within her own narrative.
The concluding remark that “These days, I’m satisfied to be alone with the song” suggests Panter's identity is separate from male influence. Students are left with the impression that although males may have influenced her musical tastes and musical literacy, she maintains her own opinions about music.